The men among creeps

If you are a man with good intentions, and trying to find a date is like a walk on a tightrope, this is for you

Illustration: Manoj Singh Rana Illustration: Manoj Singh Rana

You’re being watched. Someone’s keeping an eye on you. Every move you make is reflected by a swift movement on the other side. A sudden feeling that you are being hunted kicks in, and yet you are not so sure. You feel vulnerable and there is no point in a face-off because there is a lot of ambiguity involved. It could totally be a wrong hunch because it has happened before. You are helpless and scared. What would you do?

Now, if you are a man, then that was not for you. But if you can think like a woman, then it might just be for you because you were there and you have seen it all.

Men, who move closer to girls if they see them alone. Men, who like sending their unwarranted selfies and photographs without any invitation. Men, who have no control over their eyes. Men, who can be overly touchy. Men, who behave like hysterical aliens in the company of a woman. There are many stories.

If you think that was weird, then that’s only a start. In India, you can see people with bushy chest hair and bellies the size of a football field standing shirtless and staring at women like they own this part of the world. Some of the experts are capable of draining the life out of a person just by ogling at them. They do make for good stories, but shouldn’t be treated as a joke though. Among such creeps and weirdoes, there is no telling who is dangerous. 

You can’t deny that news about rape and assault spreads like wildfire in the country. The great many people of India, who would spit fire and claim that they’d allow no more atrocities against women, would be happy to go after the next viral thing, soon after they vent an emotional post out on a social media platform. Now, that’s the usual time of the outrage that fumes from within and the current status of social responsibility spurred by media that’s never really consistent. In that case, why wouldn’t the women be scared? Why wouldn’t they act like they are living amidst predators? You know, uncle hairy is still happy to scratch his chest and smile at them gleefully.

Gone are the days when the good old mad lover would follow the love of his life for an eternity to finally marry her. The same scenario today and the consequences would be unsparingly different. The girl would preferably file a police complaint because she wouldn’t want to take the chances of the mad lover returning someday with an acid balloon to throw at her as a protest against the denial.

Also read: Do you consent?

Most of women of this generation are extremely cautious and highly judgemental unless they are dealing with men from their home team, those they know and trust. The man who laughs unnecessarily could be a whacko or at worst a serial-killer. The old man who shamelessly ogles might not think twice before groping. The ones who chew paan are the ones desperate for the meat. The theories backed by history are aplenty. 

On the flip side, not all men have ulterior motives even if they act bizarre. A nervous man can do salsa in the middle of the road if he has to propose to a woman. An innocent party debutant would ask, ‘Do you live alone,’ in a brazen act of inexperience. It’s not wrong to make a clumsy move, but for all the aforementioned reasons, it wouldn’t take long for the safety veil in a woman to prop up against the man she doubts. How would she know who she is facing?  Sadly, the real men among the monsters are bearing the brunt. Even in cities like Bengaluru and Mumbai, forget a date— it has become difficult for a man to ask a woman out even for a chai. Here, men get the feeling that they are being doggedly watched.

Also read: 40-year-old virgin?

For men with good intentions, trying to find a date has become more like walking on a tightrope nowadays. Freedom is for everyone, but the pervs amongst us have killed it all by taking undue advantage of it. And the gentlemen here, who are the majority, must pay the price. We know that there is a common bug in the eyes of the society that needs to be fixed. We know that there is evil amongst men that needs to be crushed. You know the problem 

because you were there. You have seen it all. You know it all. You have heard them talk too. But what can be done? How do we tell them we care? How do we break the stereotype? 

A journalist and entrepreneur, Hemanth likes to play with his niece and nephew, write, dance, act, and make delicious French toast while he considers himself working

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