Sex & the city: Don’t worry Gentlemen, you will survive #metoo

Whatever you do, keep your adoration of your genitals to yourself.

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#MeToo has swept the internet, putting many well-known names from politics, academia, journalism, cinema, art, advertising, and corporate sector under the spotlight. And not a flattering light at that. Guilty till proven innocent. The accusations of sexual harassment, stalking, and assault are pouring in from women who have had enough. The men who have been accused, with a few notable exceptions, are crying murder. Even more stressed are the supporters and cheerleaders of those men, who seem angrier and more stressed that the guy who has been called out.

Relax gentlemen, why are you so stressed? And hey, why are there beads of sweat on your brow? You don’t have a thing to worry about! Or do you? Nah! What can she prove, it was so long ago everyone must have forgotten it? Sorry, there is news for you. She does remember! You see, survivors of sexual harassment and assault, especially if they have been attacked at the workplace or home, seldom forget!

They relive the attack in their mind’s eye, as, they recall every unwelcome touch, every catcall, and innuendo loaded comment on their curves, the lack of curves and clothing. They remember when you called them a whore, or a prude. 

They remember if you touched them, even ‘accidentally’ because your fingertips burned hot like a branding iron and left permanently painful scars. Not on their skin, but on their psyche. They remember, even if they’ve kept quiet for so long. And when they do speak out. You will hear it loud and clear. Perhaps you will remember things too, for the rest of your days. 

And for those of you who are just sad this may mean the end of office romance or worse, the death of flirting, dating, friends-with-benefits, and if everyone is doomed to the arranged marriage gamble? Calm down, pour yourself a chilled drink, and listen up. The world, and the concept of a romantic, flirtatious, sexy, consensual relationship is alive and well. In fact, things probably got better, because the boorish, tacky ones who thought they could grab any woman and drag her into their cave, will now go into hiding, and you Mr Charming, will be more desirable than ever. 

You know what kind of men women really like? A gentleman. Yep. Seriously. Nothing emasculating about being a gentleman at all. It is in fact rather sexy to be charming. Flexing biceps and twitching pectorals straining to defy the seams of a tight shirt were always tacky, and just got tackier. Loud finger-snapping behaviour is as bad as cat calling. Money, as you know by now, cannot buy personality.

Most importantly, whatever you do, keep your adoration of your genitals to yourself. Do not send anyone a dick pic! There is never a good angle, or lighting to take one. Your life is not a porn movie audition. So, brand this into your brain: Never, ever, send or ask for intimate photos from someone you want to woo. Nope, not even the tinder match, nor the ex-girlfriend. And never ever send those disgusting exposures someone you know from work. Trust me. No one wants to see a display of your privates outside your consensual intimate life. Except, perhaps, your doctor. And that if they have asked for a pic, it is never a good sign at the best of times.

You really need to rewrite the bro-code. Wooing a potential romantic partner is a fine art; it is not difficult at all, it is all about the nuances. Go on, ask a woman out. Just do it with as much honesty, finesse, and respect as you can gather. When in doubt, do run your plan of action by a platonic woman friend. Seek her honest opinion. 

Women want a man who knows the meaning of consent, and respect. It is as simple as that. All the money in the world will not buy you classiness. That kind of finesse and awareness is something you are born with, or can learn. Be sensitive. There is nothing sexier than a sensitive man. Ok there is: A sensitive man who smells great, and if he can cook, that is an added bonus. No, you don’t have to treat us like a delicate 

princess. You just have to treat us as an equal. Drop the entitlement, and the messiah complex. Be real. Just honest. Simply put, be yourself.

So, what is a smart, woke, reformed, gentleman to do? Nothing. Hear us out. Support us. Believe us. Be an ally. Be the aware, arisen, empathetic man the world needs. The age of the real gentleman is here. Own it.

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