Last weekend, I was over at a friend’s place and we ended up with a particularly enlightening post-prandial game of truth and dare (that lasted into the wee hours of the morning). Tongues were more than sufficiently lubed with tequila and we got down to talking about, well, sex, and of course, unusual sex and adventures – which then led us to our sex bucket lists.
It was the comedian Larry Miller who once suggested that, if women really knew what men were thinking, they would never stop slapping us. He’s really not too far off, either. A man spends an awful lot of time thinking about sex, and you can imagine there are a lot of sex-related items on any man’s bucket list. Here are some of the sex bucket list fantasies that surfaced that night.
1. The girl-boy-girl sandwich
Many a male bucket list begins with that magic word: threesome. Men fantasise about it, and women are propositioned for it. As Rodney Dangerfield once pitched it, “If I fall asleep, at least you still have each other to talk to.”
The female, male, female sandwich is a clear numero uno on the bucket list. And while there’s no denying that most men want to have sex with two women at once, we sometimes forget that women are just as interested in threesomes as men. According to research, threesomes are in the top five fantasies for women, tucked in between being masturbated and being dominated. That’s pretty far up there on the list of desires.
2. That anytime-anywhere person
Don’t we all remember that episode from F.R.I.E.N.D.S where they discuss the different celebrities that they could sleep with. That!
Monica: So, Chandler...who’s on your list?
Chandler: Uh, Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and, ah, Jessica Rabbit.
Every man wants to have a drop-dead gorgeous woman somewhere on his sexual resume before he dies. This could be a specific woman, like a particular actor, musician, or supermodel, or it could be just any beautiful woman. Of course, beauty is subjective, but most men will agree on a perfect ten when they see one, and most would want her on their bucket list.
3. Delivery in the rear
It wasn’t too long ago that anal sex was completely taboo and most men wouldn’t even admit to having a curiosity about it. Now it’s pretty much standard in every porno, rap song, and male fantasy. It’s still kind of like a challenge, and the difficulty level is high.
4. The porn star
Men watch a lot of porn, so it’s only natural that their bucket list would involve acting out some of their favourite scenes with the porn star of their choice. Interestingly, a lot of porn stars ‘entertain’ on the side, so this one is not as unachievable as it may seem.
Naturally, sex at work emerges as a major fantasy that works its way onto the bucket list
The bonus of the porn star fantasy? There aren’t many other entries on the male bucket list that a porn star wouldn’t be willing to do, so this bucket list item might allow you to check off nine or ten other sexual must-haves, right before you go to the clinic to get tested and treated. Fact: the Moonlite BunnyRanch is a legal, licensed brothel in Mound House, Nevada, United States, which apparently lets people indulge in this particular fantasy.
5. The Virgin
On the opposite end of the spectrum, most men want to be with a virgin at least once in their lives. To be able to say they have gone where no man had gone before is something any man would be happy to add to his list of accomplishments.
6. Lord and master
Even the mousy accountant who has never raised his voice to anyone usually harbours that fantasy of being the all-powerful master with sexual command over some pretty young thing. But, more often than not, they just end up filing them away on their bucket list.
7. Foursomes and moresomes
Orgies make great-on-paper fantasies. Whether it’s the traditional Roman orgy, the 1970s-era drug-induced orgy, or the modern swap meet, most men are really curious to know what it’s like to take part in an orgy. You want to be around others who are comfortable with themselves and their sexuality, and comfortable playing for an audience. You want the rush and exhilaration of being in a space where raw, sexual energy shoots through the air. If that speaks to you, swinging might be up your alley. Get yourself on a swinger house party list.
8. The Cougar
Cougars have sexual fantasies that run the gamut. They often do not have many of the sexual hang-ups and misgivings that plague their younger peers, making their fantasies as open as they are. The assumption is that with age comes experience, and with experience comes sexual prowess that will leave a young man weak in the knees.
9. Sex on the Beach
It’s more than just a trendy cocktail. And while it’s right up there on most people’s lists, it apparently never gets ticked off because of sand and mosquitoes.
10. The mile-high club
The logistics of this one are difficult, as there’s a very real danger of getting caught, but most men would love to do it at least once up in the air. One explanation for the act is the vibration of the plane, which may speed or improve arousal. Some say they have fantasies about flight attendants, or a fetish about planes themselves. For others, the appeal of joining the mile-high club is the thrill of doing something taboo and the thrill of the risk of being discovered. Of course, sneaking in a sachet of lube into your hand luggage helps.
11. A blonde moment
Like most Indians, many a man who has spent his whole life in his own racial dating pool harbours some buried questions about what it might be like with a woman of another race. And while we have our very own ethnicity pool right here in India, we seem to favour ‘em blonde and Brazilian.
12. A blow on the go
Men love cars and men love receiving oral sex. So, the BJ on wheels is kind of a natural progression. If a man didn’t manage to get this while making out with his girlfriend in high school or college, you can bet it’s on his bucket list. Thank you, reclining seats and adjustable steering wheels.
13. The office fling
We spend a large portion of our lives at work, and most of the time, while we should be working, we are actually thinking about ‘werking’. Naturally, sex at work emerges as a major fantasy that works its way onto the bucket list.
14. The spit roast
The phrase itself has some unsexy connotations, but the actual act? Some think the spit roast is the sexual holy grail. This one is a little beyond the comfort zone of some, but men who are confident in their sexuality might put the male, female, male threesome right there on the bucket list—a threesome is a threesome, right?
15. Lights, camera, action!
What’s better than having great sex? Having great sex and then watching yourself have it over and over again on video. For those who aren’t camera shy, making a sexy home video is definitely something they wish they could do before they die. So, become an amateur pornographer. Just don’t try to hide the results in mom and dad’s DVD collection like I did.